Monday, April 20, 2009

27 Jan (Tues)

Today is the first day I am emotionally almost ready to get in touch with the world and start communicating again. I have managed to put the pleading and whining into the background and am determined to touch base with the office and get back into things.

 Unfortunately it turns into a disaster, rather in keeping with the way my year has been going so far. In an effort to be efficient and functional I grab the first opportunity to connect with the real world and the people from my (previously) real life and frantically start replying to the 207 mails in my inbox. In my frenzy I even reply to those not addressed to me personally but are generic communication sent via the office management tool. For some reason, and distinctly uncharacteristically, I am compelled to rant on about my woes to the head of the new media department. It is only when I see a skype message from my sister in London a few hours later which reads “Jesus Andy - are you joking? check when you send email whether it's from basecamp or own email - or did you mean to send Brian your news via the whole company as a very cryptic joke? “ And 2 minutes later a message from the production manager “Hello Andy, are you on the internet at all? If so PLEASE DISCONNECT immediately as it's affecting speeds from Bots crew # 2”

So much for trying to get back into things… I sheepishly shut down my computer, vowing not to re-emerge (in the ether) for at least another 4 days.

I am finding it very difficult (quite obviously) to get my brain going again and to think of anything other than my Rio’s angst and suffering, at least 50% of which is projected onto him by my own neuroses.

The kids largely have to entertain themselves within the confines of the electric fence (which is not on during the day but nevertheless creates a suitable boundary). They are instructed to not venture outside the fence and Rio in particular, who has the typical energy of a nearly-five-year-old, is used to school and activities and much action is clearly finding it a little dull. Even his much loved superhero’s don’t seem to hold the same appeal. (This is probably a good thing) .

Up until now my focus has been more on being able to locate toothbrushes and underwear so wildlife hasn’t really been much in my mind / thoughts. Today I was reminded of the beautiful place we were in when a breeding herd of elephants made their way leisurely past our camp. We all watched them from the anthill. Rio, true to form, aimed an imaginary gun at them, which sends shivers down my spine. How is it that a mother who is the ultimate pacifist, anti-gun person on the planet gets a son who only wants to kill, murder and maim?

Brads building continues and he manages to construct a wash station for me outside my tent (what luxury) as well as a table for the main area so now we can eat without having to sit on the floor.

Frannette and I take the kids for a swim in the swimming hole but both kids so fractious that I am convinced we will have all the predators in the area gathering around to see what the noise is about. We limit the swim to a very fast bath and head back.

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